Me, Jeff. Me is Man.

My name is Jeffrey Hayes and I am a Junior here at Trinity. I was born and raised in San Antonio, Texas and I know what you’re all thinking: how brave of me to go to college at a university a whole 20 minutes away from my home. I came to trinity for the distinguished Pre-medicine program trinity has to offer, but also to play soccer. Academics and athletics have always been a big part of my life, majoring in Neuroscience with intentions of going to medical school and colligate athletics keep me pretty busy. The Trinity soccer team has a history of excellence that I am proud to now be a part of and contribute to.

In my free time I enjoy playing video games and reading books. I can stand reading when it’s a book that has been assigned to me by a class but I rather enjoy it when it’s a book of my choice. Video games are a capstone in any young man’s life. Countless friendships have been bolstered and destroyed thanks to several heated matches of team slayer. My friends and I have wasted numerous days, even more nights, and shed many tears over Halo competitions.

In attempt to preserve some of my dignity I will describe the aspects of my life that make me seem macho and tough and stuff. While I like to read and play video games I prefer to be outside. Whether its kayaking at the lake, camping and hiking at enchanted rock, or fishing with a bow and arrow (a lot of fishing, and not much catching) I enjoy the outdoors and a good ol’fashioned sweat. My summer job is with a construction group and I shave with straight razor just because it’s cool. I eat with my bare hands and never ask for directions, especially if I’m lost. If I appear indifferent of uninterested in class it is not because I find the material boring but probably because I’m tired from being up all night fighting crime.

Perhaps the greatest testament to my masculine fortitude is my battle with death himself. Of course I mean death in the guise of the hottest burger in the history of history. The Four Horseman burger is the demon on a bun that belongs to local San Antonio resultant Chunky’s and has been featured on Man vs Food. I, like a fool, gave into peer pressure and accepted friend’s wager to prove I was more burly and manly than he. Four of my friends walked into the restaurant to take the challenge, and all of us crawled our way out.There is little I can say as to what I was feeling that would keep this post class appropriate beside it was just torture. Unbearable. Torture… but in the end, I defeated the four horseman and my picture is on the “wall of flame” to prove it. Any of you reading this may seem crazy enough to go on down to chunky’s and try to tackle the beast yourselves should ask me if it was worth it. I would tell you the truth: no way in hell was it worth it. Never ever try it, unless of course you need to prove your manhood by sweating and crying in front of a bunch of strangers while eating a burger.

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